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16 November 2008 @ 01:07 pm
One of the most popular gender stereotypes is that women ask for directions while men would rather be lost than ask for help. In your personal experience, does this stereotype hold true?
Lol nope. I would rather just be lost I think. Then again, how many female stereotypes do i ever fit...?
07 November 2008 @ 09:53 pm
It's the anniversary of the Russian Revolution, marking the Marxist overthrow of the Russian government. Karl Marx once wrote that "religion is the opium of the people." What is the new opium of the people?
20 October 2008 @ 05:43 pm
Everyone knows having a crush at the office or in class can make the time pass a little bit quicker. Is it better to keep your crush a secret or tell them how you feel?
Ugh... i have NO luck with crushes, like ever. Except in the case of Alek, but that was kind of way different since we made out before we really clarified that i liked him -.-
As for the past, i told this guy that i liked him, and he kinda led me on forever and changed girlfriends and shit, but M was a douche. My current crush, well, he must never ever know.... trust me. I wish i didn't like him, I'm pretty sure that i don't have an adequate reason to, i mean he's not a bad guy or anything, it's quite complicated. But only a few people know i like him, and i won't make it obvious definitely... I'm just satisfied that i got a hug from him :D disregarding the fact that he wasn't all too nice about it -.-
In short, it depends. In the current case, no speaky de elisabeth.
Current Location: default
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: what is love - haddaway
10 October 2008 @ 04:21 pm
That band is over soon, but also sad that it's not over because i miss my friends. I haven't really hung out with Alek in forever whcih really sucks. I want to just get together the guys and run around town like we did in the summer.
There are certain people who i wish would just kick off or move away or something, anything to get them out of my life... ok, maybe i don't want them to die, because they aren't people i hate, but you get the point.
I kidna wish therapy was more often, since it's only every other week. I like my therapist and i think i'll get lots out of it. In the meantime, my cutting problem has not imroved, but it no longer worries me.

In other news, i'm reading twilight, which Rachel said was awful (even though she didn't read it...?) and it's not unbearable. My guess was that it was written like bad fanfiction. I was wrong, It's written ike decent/good fanfiction. BUT still fanfiction. It's too rpedictable with a few plot holes, and the characters fall in love way too fast. I could definitely write something better, but i do read fanfiction anyway, and i tried to avoid vampire romance until this point, so i am enjoying the book more than disliking it. Which is all that matters anyway.

I want to hang out with Sean sometime because he's sweet. He cried blood today too, which was fantastic, but unfortunately i didn't see it; Maili told me about it. He got hit in the ye with a book a few days ago and now bleeds out the eye at random. Which, is of course awesome. I have a game tonight, preceded by asection party, so I'm leaving soon, and not getting back until sometime saturday, hopefully relatively early. I'm spending the night at maili's after the game, and then hopfully later in the day hanging with Alek? 
Idk. But if we do hang out i hope it's just us, or maybe Andrew too. I never mind Andrew being there. 

I really hope the freshmen of this year become much less retarded next year. Because most of them suck, and most of them mess around and talk and it's very aggravating. I'll have the authoity to give laps next year though, which will be fun. Sophomores can give pushups, but they don't really have a lot of power. SO next year, I'm going to pwn the band with my eternally awesome leadership skills.

I find that lots of things make me angry recently. Like, really fucking angry. I hate relationships, I hate people more than usual (and by hating relationships, i don't just mean being in them. I hate yours too) and every little thing bothers me ten times more than i'm used to. I feel like destroying things a lot, not just out of sheer fascination, like i normally do, but out of irritation. I don't like bieng like this because being pissed is obviously not fun. But i can't really help what annoys me, try though i may. I really hae tried. I just suck at it lol.

Maili andI have been ok for a long time now. That makes me happy too, because when we're getting along with no problems, we just rule. It doesn't make me miss Alek any less, but whatever. It's not like they're alternatives to each other anyway.

I am a salad fork
Current Location: Defaut
Current Mood: stressedstressed
21 September 2008 @ 12:32 pm
Today i have to do my homework, mow the lawn, sweep the landing, clean my room (whic never takes long, but still) and go to bed ridonculously early again. I'm going to talk to Molly, obviously, because i said i would. And Idk if i can even get to Alek's to do music shit. I also want to work on my book, while I still have inspiration. I have the first three character intros done in the first chapter, now all i need to do is write down the fourth one and think of a fifth. It was originally going to be 10 characters but fuck that.

I need to make sure i know of enough ways to keep the story interesting while the world is going to shit. Yes, random irreversible events can be good, but there has to be a stronger underlying plotline too, that isn't just driven by the characters' powers. And i have yet to think of anything really good for that. It will probably start when the characters start finding each other and the government starts trying to kill them. But still, they need to affect each other as people too.
And there needs to be a reason why they have their powers. Idk if I want to use god, like i had originally intended, because i know nothing about religion. Any religion. Especially the one that I'm suppsed to be  part of *is still thanking parents for not making me go to church*. GAH. It can't be a weird disease because threre are only five of them and they live really far from each other. Or should I just leave it a mystery? Superhero stories usually have a story behind the guy's powers, but i don't want this to be a superhero story because those are stupid. Plus, my characters fuck up the world beyond recognition, and the only good thing they manage to do is destroy it, so they arent really heroes anway. Argh. Until further notice, i don't have a reason. If you have any briliant idas for one, i woul like o hear them.
Current Location: Default
Current Mood: rushedrushed
20 September 2008 @ 05:57 pm
Current Location: Default
Current Music: In Pieces - LP
18 September 2008 @ 08:22 pm
I don't have any time anymore. And it makes me want to throw myself off a cliff... a big one, so i actually die, not a little one that will just hurt me and get me further behind in school. Fuck my language arts class. Definitely fuck my math class. I like band. I really fucking love band. But it's jsut piling onto my list of things that are taking time away from me... I got another thing from Fullsail today. I have to go to that college... it just pwns. BUT ANYWAY, back to what i was saying before. Yes. School. I'M DOING AWFUL IN EVERYTHING. Except spanish. I heart spanish ^-^ 

On a completely-irrelevant-to-what-i-just-said note, i dressed in the spirit of 3 cheers for sweet revenge today. So i pwn. I like MCR. I need to watch Life on the Murder Scene for the 7th time. And ASAP, i need to get The Black Parade is Dead. I also need there to be more moneys in general...

Well, i got to hang out with Alek, Evan, Andrew, and Zach for a little bit yesterday...which was good, cause i missed hanging out... Unfortunately though, i was dead tired, so Alek and I mostly just laid together on his couch for like 40 minutes. Which i actually thoroughly enjoyed. But still, it wasn't enough time >< hopefully this weekend we can hang more. And i can catch up on some actual sleep.

I need someone to play paper wars with because it's fun.

By the way, I hate my fucking gender. Yes, this has been reiterated about 4 quadrillion times, but I feel the need to say it again. I hate my fucking gender.
Current Location: Default
Current Music: Depeche Mode
16 September 2008 @ 09:09 pm
Algebra 2 is annoying. I'm bad at algebra in general, and now that i've missed a day, AND done the wrong assigment, i don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing and I  think i'm failing. Fuck. Plus, i'm tired of bing sick, even if it's not really that bad anymore. I'm not even contagious, i just have a stupid throat (which can be hilarious when people try to get me to talk) and can only make ridiculous squeaks half the time.
Also, i miss Alek :/ hopefully i can see him soon.
Well, this is coming to an abrupt end, because i have to go take a shower.
Current Location: default
Current Mood: boredbored
14 September 2008 @ 10:30 am





Bands you need to go look at. Now. They don't have much of a following yet, could you just take a couple minutes to look at them?

24 July 2008 @ 11:01 pm
Well, as has been a recurring theme for the past couple years, i feel like crap -.-
There is no one to blame, because it is uncertain whose fault it is. Mostly mine, definitely. But aside from blame, which is pointless, the problem is this:
I feel worthless.
And all subsets of 'worthless', such as
Anyway, you get the point. Worthless. With a hint of evil. I've always wondered what happens when evil realizes how terrible it is, and hates itself for it's deeds. Well, the wondering has stopped. And since i am ever the optimist in some way or another, i'm at least glad that i don't have to ponder that question anymore. But i'm getting off topic.
So the answer to all this worthless-feeling? Well, sitting around and wallowing in my worthlessness is the worst thing i could do, and it would prove my worthlessness more. Which, obviously isn't what i'm going for. Another option is to do something meaningful. Yes, i know. It's a given. The problem is, everything i try to do that's meaningful either fucks itself and hurts people, or doesn't actually work, leaving me still feeling worthless. And usually, when i was negative emotions, i can reason with myself and find legitimate reasons as to why i shouldn't feel like shit. But in some cases, such as this one, i feel worthless because i don't freaking do anything, and when i do, it fials ridiculously.
Back to my options. The third option is to harden myself to feelings such as this and embrace myself for the worthless piece of shit that i am, and learn to be satisfied with myself. I know i can do it. I've tried it before but i was always too scared to follow through with it, because of my source of happiness. My source of happiness is bringing people i cre about happiness. And this has become yet another catch 22. I feel like shit for not being able to fulfill my source of happiness, but i can't seem to let go of my source of happiness and replace it with apathy because, well, it's my source of happiness....
I think this blog is incoherent.
I'm really bad at writing when i have this much shit going on that i want to write down ><
As for turning to my friends, i can't do that either, because that could potetially burden them (assuming they give a fuck about me...lol) and that would further contribute to the feeling of worthlessness. If i could be positive that they really wouldn't be burdened or worried at all, then maybe i could get their help. but then again, what could they do? It's my problem, and it has to be fixed by my actions. Feeling worthless cannot be solved by someone else's words. I have to satisfy myself.

You see, in traditional shonen manga, this is the point in which the protagonist takes a long harrowing journey and fights bears. But since i have no where to journey to, or the strength to fight any bears, i'm just going to...sit here.....forever -.-
Yep, i am totally fuckin worthless.
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Current Location: default